


Make Up Your Mind

by procrastin8r



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Coming Out, First Date, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Missed Opportunity, Past friends with benefits, Sexuality Crisis, love triangle?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27997017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/procrastin8r/pseuds/procrastin8r
Summary: Cody and Devon have been friends with benefits for a while, but when the opportunity for a real relationship with someone else comes along, Cody can’t say no.
Relationships: Cody Ko/Noel Miller, Past Cody Ko/Devon Spinnler
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	Make Up Your Mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SoloChaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloChaos/gifts).
  * Inspired by [if you don’t mean it](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24480229) by [sincities](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincities/pseuds/sincities). 



> sincities’ fic is a oneshot about Cody and Devon being friends with benefits. Way back in June, SoloChaos commented on it:  
> this is great omg. now I'm thinking like-- what if after this fic, cody and noel start dating, and devon has this realization like "oh fuck I have feelings for him" but it's too late. sorry I'm just rambling lol. thanks for sharing this with us!
> 
> I was trying to research how to write Devon since I need him for the story I'm doing, so I just read the fic and since it’s been months I thought it was okay to use that prompt for myself. Enjoy.
> 
> Also this is not at all holiday-related, it's been sitting in my drafts and about to expire lol.
> 
> Disclaimer: I wrote this for fun, I don't actually ship Cody or Noel or Devon, they are real people with real lives and real relationships, and I respect that. Their online personas are being used as characters here.

“Still think you’re gay?” Devon laughs, raising an eyebrow at the trail of clothes leading to Cody’s bedroom.

Cody bites his lip. “I never said that.”

“Yeah? There'd better be a chick in there.”

Cody scowls and heads back to his room, holding two cups of coffee. Devon rolls his eyes and returns to his essay.

* * *

“I don’t want to suck you off, I want to get going!” Cody snaps, giving up on tying his shoe.

Devon balls his fists. “It was just a joke.”

“No, it wasn’t!”

“Okay, it wasn’t! Sorry that I expect some payback here and there!” Devon growls.

“Fuck off.” Cody can’t remember the last time he was so mad at his best friend.

“Just— come on,” Devon sighs. Cody storms out and Devon slams the door behind them. The walk to the party is a bit tense, but a few friends join them on the way there and by the time they enter the room, hazy through the smoke and obnoxiously-colored lights, Devon is just ready to grab the nearest drink and forget about it.

Cody, on the other hand, is still upset. He stands in the middle of the room and tries to steady his breathing.

“Are you alright, man?” Noel asks, approaching Cody out of nowhere. They have a couple of tech-related classes together, and he’s nice enough. And openly bi.

“Yeah, my friend’s just being a jackass,” Cody sighs, running a hand through his hair. He sees Noel’s eyes follow the motion, and suddenly it’s all he can think about.

“That sucks.” Noel sets a hand on Cody’s shoulder, maybe to comfort him, but Cody feels Devon watching them and grabs Noel’s hoodie to pull him close. Their lips collide and Cody doesn’t even have time to think about what he just did when he feels Noel deepen the kiss and settle his hands on his hips. Cody lets out a little whine and Noel pulls back to smirk before kissing him again.

Cody kisses strangers all the time. He kisses acquaintances all the time, too. Noel fits somewhere between the two categories. It shouldn’t be that weird, and honestly, it isn’t. But Cody feels like it needs to be weird, because it’s a guy, and he’s never kissed a guy, not even Devon, and the more he thinks about it the more he realizes the fact that it’s not weird must mean something. But he tries not to think about it. Noel’s hot and a good kisser. And maybe Cody is drunk even though he hasn’t had any drinks yet. Maybe he’s drunk just from standing next to people who are drunk. Maybe it’s okay that he’s kissing a guy, because he’s not sober— even if he is. He has an excuse, maybe. And Noel’s sober too, his mouth tastes a little like beer but not like he’s had more than one, and he’s openly bi, so they’re not doing anything _wrong_. Or maybe Cody has something to think about, maybe—

“Hey!” Devon shouts, pulling Cody back from Noel. The racially-ambiguous man opens his mouth to snap at him, but Cody does it first.

“What the fuck, Devon? Get off of me!”

“Dude!” Devon snaps, pulling his hands back. “What are you doing?”

Cody gestures furiously at Noel, unable to speak.

Noel opens his mouth again, but this time Devon cuts him off. “He’s straight, sorry.”

Noel laughs. “Cody’s not straight.”

“I’m—” Cody starts to retort, then realizes it’s Devon he has to fight with. “I don’t know what I am, Devon, but you should leave us alone.”

“Dude.”

“Look, I don’t know why you have a problem with this, but it’s none of your business—” Noel attempts to diffuse the situation.

“I don’t have a problem with it! I’m not homophobic!” Devon interrupts.

Noel raises an eyebrow. “Okay, then can you leave us alone so I can ask Cody out?”

Cody and Devon are equally shocked, but Devon finally walks away and leaves them alone.

“Can I have your number?” Noel asks, a little embarrassed. Apparently Noel likes dating the people he kisses. Or maybe he had an eye on Cody ever since he first walked into class.

“Uh, yeah, yeah. Here,” Cody says, fumbling to get his phone out of his pocket and into Noel’s hand. He feels a strange mix of dread and giddiness. He can’t remember the last time he had a real date. But he knows for sure it wasn’t a gay one.

“Like I said… I, uh, I don’t know what I am...”

“That’s okay. Just text me if you want to hang out,” Noel smiles, handing the phone back. By the time Cody registers what he just signed up for, Noel is gone.

Cody chugs a few beers and does a few shots and who knows what else before meeting back up with Devon.

“Are you still mad at me?” Devon asks, trying and failing to crush his mostly-empty beer can.

“No.”

“Do you wanna go back?”

“Yeah.”

Devon nods and hands the drink to some other guy, who flattens it easily and then throws it on the floor. Cody feels sick and whines for Devon to hurry up, and then finally, _finally_ they have fresh air on the way out.

“Are you done messing with me?”

“Huh?”

“You’re not gonna go out with him, are you?”

“I—”

“You can’t lead him on.”

“You can’t judge me.”

“Cody. We’ve been over this.”

“I’m going to text him.”

“No you won’t.”

Cody scrunches his nose and pulls out the phone, almost tripping over his own feet. He finds the most recent message.

 **Noel:** **_hope you arent drunk by the time you read this_ **

Cody blushes even though Noel isn’t there.

 **Cody:** **_oops_ **

“Are you texting him back?” Devon asks, incredulous.

“Yeah, so what? We can still fool around.”

“Seriously?”

“Shut up.”

* * *

It’s a few days before Cody agrees to go out with Noel. He hasn’t seen him in person, since the classes they have together don’t meet until later in the week, but they’ve been texting a bit and Cody really feels like they can be good friends, even if he chickens out of the whole “liking guys” thing. He texts Noel about class and friends and dumb shit he finds online. He doesn’t mention the fact that he gave Devon a handjob earlier. Or that he’ll probably receive one later. Like Devon said, that’s just bro stuff. It’s not relevant. But today they have a class together and for once, Cody isn't thinking about his roommate.

 **Noel:** _**so…?** _

**Cody:** _**yes, fine, you dont need to beg me** _

**Noel:** _**I don’t beg.** _

Cody isn’t sure how to respond to that.

 **Cody:** _**i dont know how to respond to that** _

That works.

 **Noel:** _**we can talk on our date** _

**Cody:** _**i would hope so** _

Noel meets Cody in the hall with a smug smile. “We’re going to the café after class, okay?”

Noel is so charming, Cody has to say yes. Well, that and the fact that he already agreed over text. “Sounds good. But, um, like I said, I don’t know anything.”

Noel chuckles. “Maybe I can help you figure it out.”

They smile and then head to their respective seats. The professor drones on and on about how to create a frictionless user-product experience, something Cody should probably pay attention to, but he can feel Noel’s eyes burning into the back of his head and spends the whole lecture debating over whether or not to turn around.

* * *

“This is really good,” Cody smiles, sipping on his latte.

“Care to share?” Noel asks, eyes gleaming. When Cody blushes and starts stammering his attempt at a response, Noel laughs and says he’s just messing around.

They get to know each other a little more, first talking about the two classes they share and then the many that they don’t. Cody listens to Noel tell a story about a girl who broke down crying after she had failed a math test by just one point, and the whole class tried to get the professor to pass her, to no avail. He’s not sure how many of Noel’s stories are exaggerated, but the way he tells them makes them worth listening to. Soon they move onto the subject of friends and relationships, and Cody confirms he’s never dated a guy before. Noel makes a dumb joke about being his “first” and Cody bursts out in laughter despite the sheer stupidity of the statement. He listens to Noel talk about his friends and shares a few stories about his own. They are taking a break to sip on their now-cold coffee when a waiter drops off two scones.

“We didn’t…” Cody begins, but a sharp look from Noel makes him stop talking. Noel thanks the waiter and waits for him to walk off before smirking at Cody.

“This guy owes me pastries for a year.”

“Seriously?”

“It was either that or a restraining order.”

Cody stares at Noel before realizing it’s a joke. The two make eye contact before laughing, neither really sure why it was even funny.

“Seriously, what are these for?”

For the first time, Noel looks sheepish. “Actually, I ordered them.”

Cody blinks. “Really? Thanks, dude.”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.”

Noel chuckles. “Okay, just eat it before it gets cold. They bake everything fresh here, y’know.”

Cody has the smallest smile on his face as he nibbles on his scone. Noel has to stop himself from reaching over to brush the crumbs off of his lip. It's way too early for that.

“Fuck, this _is_ good,” Cody says before eating half the scone in one bite. Noel giggles— _giggles_ —and starts eating his own pastry.

“Y’know, I’ve always wanted to try baking,” Cody says, mouth still a little full of food.

“Really?”

“Yeah. But then I’d get too fat for diving.”

Noel laughs. “I didn’t know you had a special diet for that. Sorry for ruining it.”

Cody swallows his scone and washes it down with the rest of his latte. “It’s fine, better scones than spirits.”

“You had to think about that alliteration, huh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

They joke around for a bit more before the waiter comes back and implies they should leave because others are waiting for their table. Noel cracks one more joke before following Cody out the door, feeling like they’ve been together for months.

* * *

Cody knows his fake date turned into a real one. He knows he can’t keep leading Noel on, but he wants to keep spending time with him. The realization comes to him like a splash of cold water: he should just date Noel for real.

So he does.

A few weeks go by, then a month. Between school and sports and drama with friends, they haven’t had much time together besides a few dates to the café or study sessions in the library that turned out to be useless for getting any work done. Cody hasn’t told anyone about their relationship yet, but his friends start to notice them hanging out at parties or around campus.

Finally, Devon has a date of his own and Cody is able to bring Noel to their dorm. They order pizza and make fun of some dumb shows before they get sick of that and decide to talk about more personal things now that they’re alone.

“So why was Devon acting so weird the day we kissed?” The way Noel says it implies he’s been thinking about it for a while but didn’t know how to ask.

“Oh. I… we’re friends with benefits,” Cody admits, looking away from Noel guiltily. Even though he hasn’t done anything wrong.

Noel bursts into laughter. “You’ve been fucking a dude and thought you were straight?”

“Hey!”

“You’re such an idiot, Cody,” Noel laughs, ruffling his hair.

“Noel,” Cody whines, swatting his hand away.

The sound makes Noel turn towards him. “Are you still screwing around with him?”

Cody swallows. “I…”

“Hey, man, it’s okay. I just wanna know if you… if you wanted to be exclusive.”

Cody feels like an error message should be popping up in his brain. He’s shocked and there’s a new feeling surging through his chest and he wants to say yes but he’s _stuck_ and his silence is starting to worry Noel and why isn’t his mouth working? He can’t talk and Noel looks embarrassed now and—

Cody tugs Noel into a passionate kiss, hoping by the time they pull apart he can speak normally again. He crawls into Noel’s lap and feels the other man’s arms curl around him, holding him close. He feels so _safe_ like this. When they pull apart, Cody kisses Noel’s cheek before resting his head on his chest.

“Is that a yes?” Noel laughs, voice a little breathless.

Cody nods and knows Noel can feel it, but he gives a verbal confirmation too. “Yeah, I’d love that.”

Noel gives him a squeeze before lifting his chin up to make eye contact. Cody expects a kiss when Noel leans down, but instead he speaks lowly right into his ear. “What have you and Devon being doing?”

Cody feels himself blush all over. “Um, just... just jerking each other off. And blowjobs.”

“And that’s your only experience with guys?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Y’know, there’s a lot more stuff you can do.”

Cody feels like he’s going to melt. “Are you going to show me?”

Noel doesn’t answer, at least not with words. When Cody ends up in bed with him a little later, he can’t imagine ever thinking he was straight. And yet, Devon is the last thing on his mind.

* * *

Cody sighs and tries to roll over before realizing he’s trapped. He wakes up fully, then smiles when he realizes he’s snuggled in bed with Noel. Their limbs are tangled together and Cody steals back his arm before scooting closer and wrapping it around the other man in a different position. Noel lets out a breath and Cody just takes a moment to observe him. He’s so— he’s just amazing. His face is so relaxed, and it’s beautiful? Or hot? Cody doesn’t really know the right word to describe it, just that he could watch Noel sleep all day. Well— no— no, that’s super creepy. He wonders what Devon would say if he heard his internal monologue. _Devon_.

What he did last night was so much better than fooling around with Devon. Even cutting out the act itself, it was better. Better because they kissed, heated in the beginning and then softly, sweetly at the end. Better because of how Noel explained everything and knew to hold back when Cody was feeling uncomfortable. Better because of the way Noel looked at him the whole time, especially right before and right after. It wasn’t just lust, there was pure adoration in his eyes and Cody’s never felt so _wanted_ by anyone before. He doesn’t regret it at all, not like he has with his last partners in bed, not like he has with Devon. He hopes Noel doesn’t regret it either. He hopes they can keep doing it, not just sleeping together but all of it, talking, laughing, kissing, dating.

Noel didn’t run out of bed at the crack of dawn (Cody has, more times than he can count), so Cody is pretty sure he doesn’t regret anything. But the suspense is killing him. He needs to do something, stretch, walk around, anything but stare at Noel and wonder what he’s dreaming about, thinking about. Cody makes a move to roll out of bed, but if anything, Noel clings tighter to him. He looks at Noel’s sleeping face again, then sees it twitch. The bastard is awake. Cody tries to slip away again, and when that doesn’t work, kisses Noel’s forehead. The other man can’t hold back a surprised smile, and Cody finally shakes him off. “I know you’re awake, idiot.”

Noel chuckles and finally opens his eyes and _oh_. Cody could get used to seeing this every morning. He hopes he doesn’t look too flustered. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Noel smiles. He tilts his head. “Trying to run off on me? In your own dorm?”

Cody blushes. “No! I just— I’m not used to this,” he admits sheepishly.

Noel smiles softly and pulls Cody back down to him. He’s about to kiss him when Cody’s stomach growls embarrassingly loudly. Noel laughs like it’s the funniest shit he’s ever heard and rolls off the bed, stretching. If Cody wasn’t so mortified he’d be starting at Noel’s naked body, watching him throw on his clothes.

“Well? Get up,” Noel laughs, zipping his jeans.

Cody whines and complains, making Noel roll his eyes and mutter something like “dramatic-ass bitch.” Cody realizes he was the one trying to get out of bed two seconds ago, so he might as well do it now.

Once they’re both dressed, Cody pulls Noel in for a quick kiss before heading out of the room. By now he’s pretty sure that they’re going to keep dating. But when Noel heads for the kitchen and starts making breakfast, he _knows_. And he knows he’s lucky as fuck.

Cody helps him, of course, and somehow they manage to make a decent meal. Cody glances towards Devon’s door and decides to make a plate for him, too. Noel doesn’t say anything about it, which Cody is grateful for. He wouldn’t want to have to chose between his new boyfriend and his best friend since high school.

Right on cue, Devon emerges from his room, running a hand over his face and looking like he could go right back to bed if he closes his eyes for a second too long. He notices Noel fishing for stuff in the fridge and his eyes widen.

“Um, hi.”

Noel glances over the door before going back to his search for food. “G’morning.”

Devon looks at Cody and mouths _what the fuck_.

Cody blushes and fiddles with his hands, and it finally dawns on Devon why Noel is here. His mouth forms an O shape. Cody hands him a plate and he stalks back to his room.

“You want a coffee—?” Noel starts to ask, but realizes Devon is gone and stops talking. He exchanges a look with Cody before sitting down at the table with him.

* * *

Devon can hear them talking and joking around and it bothers him. He’s not sure why it bothers him. Noel seems like a great guy. He’s funny, he’s smart, and he’s making breakfast for Cody. Devon should be ecstatic that Cody found someone so great for a first boyfriend.

Devon knows what’s wrong, but he doesn’t want to admit it. Not to himself and definitely not to Cody.

He doesn’t want to admit that he wishes he was the one in bed with Cody at night, eating breakfast with him the next morning. How can you say that to someone? How can you say you want to date them if you’ve known them since you were sixteen and all that time you’ve always denied liking guys? Even after fooling around with Cody, Devon always came up with excuses. “That’s just bro stuff”? Seriously? How was he so stupid? How was Cody so stupid to believe him?

And now Cody figured himself out. And now he did too. But only after it was too late.

But then— maybe it isn’t. Maybe Devon can do this. He’s Cody’s best friend, surely Cody will understand?

* * *

Devon isn’t an ass. Well, he is, but not enough of an ass to confront Cody with Noel there. He waits for the other man to leave, watching them kiss goodbye with a growing feeling of dread in his stomach, before making his move.

“Are you okay?” Cody asks hesitantly, watching Devon dump most of his food into the trash. He didn’t eat much of it, a combination of nerves and a resolve not to eat food that Noel helped cook. And now he’s starving, but like everything else, it’s his own fucking fault.

“Not really, man,” he laughs humorlessly, stretching his arms like it could distract him from everything. It doesn’t.

“Devon—”

“Cody, I… I feel like a fucking idiot. You’re going to be mad at me but just listen, alright?”

“I won’t be mad at you, just tell me.”

“It’s not just bro stuff.”

“Devon—”

“I like guys. I like you.”

“I—”

“I know you’re with Noel but just give me a chance—”

“Devon!”

“What?” Devon knows he lost.

“I… I’m sorry. I don’t feel that way. I thought I did. Maybe I did in the beginning. But I’m happy with Noel and even if I wasn’t… I wouldn’t want to risk our friendship.”

“Cody…” Devon groans, starting to turn around. He’s never been this embarrassed and it’s all his fault.

He feels Cody wrap his arms around him and he sighs. Cody’s always clingy, even when he’s the one comforting someone else.

“You’re my best friend, Devon.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

Devon returns the hug. “At least I was your bi awakening.”

Cody laughs and shoves him away. “Idiot.”

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell that I don’t know how to write Devon lmfao
> 
> Also he’s rich and I’m scared of being sued somehow (the same reason why I don’t let myself write a businessmen AU and make GT Dave a character) 🙈


End file.
